Some of it has involved me taking steps back from relationships and people. Reprioritizing. Realizing that giving away myself to others doesn't mean I have to die in the process. Making my kids a priority, shutting down my phone when I'm with them. Even when this means I ignore messages. Utilizing the "do not disturb" feature. Unplugging more and plugging into my kids and my life. Not that I want to shut people out, but I need to focus in on my babies more.
Each day I've been making the conscious effort to set down the phone, to say no to the things that take away from my family - not to be confused with giving back as a family....that's another topic! To utilize my spare time wisely - mid-day coffees (decaf of course!) with friends vs. late extravagant nights out that mean the babysitter puts the kids to bed. Honing in on my job when I'm at work. Honing in on my kids when I'm home.
It's tough. I love being social. But I know that my focus in this season of life is my kids and their lives...not mine. Being their parent. Being their friend too.
My oldest boy confided things in me this week, things I won't share, but things that made me so proud of him, and myself a little too as a mom. I'm so happy that him and I have the kind of relationship that he can't wait to talk to me about things that most kids might not want to share.
And my baby this week? He told me that "when you're little and old mommy, and I'm big and strong, I'm gonna take care of you and be your mommy."
Sigh.....He may have the gender and aging facts confused, but his little heart just melts me.
All that to say - I'm digging the things God is working in my heart. Some of them have been hard. But when I listen and obey I'm finding peace and it's beautiful.
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