Lent.

I clocked in this morning at work and sat down at my desk. My computer seemed to take forever to boot up and while I sat there waiting to get started on an exciting day of making posters I browsed through Facebook and saw Ann Voskamps post today on lent. As I read through it I felt moved. Of course who doesn't feel moved when reading through Ann's writing? Lent is something that I've never observed. I guess I always viewed it as a Catholic thing and never really took the time to understand it. Fasting? That comes up frequently. Though I will say, I am not good at it. I've tried and failed many times. But I know the benefits. There was one time I did a rather imperfect 40 day no-dairy fast. It was SO hard to stick to. When I started it I was fasting for my marriage and by the end of it I had completely surrendered it all to God. Instead of God fixing my marriage God worked on me and somehow managed to root out crap in me that I didn't even know was there. It was a beautiful, hard, heart-wrenching, heart-breaking and amazing experience. And oh the way I devoured that Pepper Jack cheese and that cows milk latte when I was done? Sweet bliss! Until I threw it up and realized that dairy has to be re-introduced SLOWLY to one's system. Lesson learned. This post from Ann got me thinking though. Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and I feel like God has me at this turning point in my life. I'm not sure what it looks like or what will happen. But for the very first time I've decided to observe Lent because I want to know. From my experience with fasting I know that God can use the fasting of things in life to reveal to us our great inadequacies and our need of a Savior. He can also use it to root out sin and bring healing. I mulled over her post throughout the day. I read it again when I got home and thought some more on it. Yes I know that this doesn't change how God views me. My works don't get me to heaven. My success or failure on this does not define who I am in Him. But it does convict and make me aware of my inadequacies and deep need for His power in my life. Knowing God and God's grace is what I am after. Knowing my Savior in a deeper way? I can't go wrong with that. Like she said - “Don’t think of lent as about working your way to salvation. Think of it as working out your salvation.” No coffee. No fast food. Please forgive my sleepiness and potential grumpiness thanks to the epic headaches I will be facing over the next week.

(And just because he is cute and adorable and I don't have a good lent related photo, here is my baby about to pray over his grilled cheese sandwich after he obviously already took a bite out of it).