Vacation and all that

We've been on vacation for a little over 2 weeks now.   We started out tent camping, then driving half way across the country (slowly I might add) and we've been in Colorado for a little over a week now.
It's been nice and I'm gonna admit that I don't want to come home.  I'm almost having a panic attack thinking about getting on the plane in a few weeks.

For the first time in 5 years I haven't been nervous when I've gone to the grocery store.  I haven't made sure to check the back seat of my car before getting in.  I haven't jumped every time the dog barks.  I haven't checked the door locks multiple times after crawling in bed.  I haven't slept with a weapon, not even once.

Don't get me wrong, I feel safe in my house in Washington.  But I'm not stupid.  I know I have to watch my back.  I have to be careful.

I feel good here. I feel safer here than I've felt in years.  My family here is wonderful.  There are so many of them, and staying here at my grandparents has been incredibly peaceful.  I don't want to leave.

My kids are bonding with all of their cousins here.  We have SOOOOOOOOOOO many cousins it's unreal.  My mom is 1 of 10 kids and all of her 9 siblings live in or near Greeley, plus their kids and a lot of the grand kids too.  Family dinner last week had to have close to 100 people at it.  Or it at least felt like it. :-)

I'm overwhelmed with support here.  Overwhelmed.  My family is pretty amazing.  My kids are loving this time with their cousins.  It's been a lot of sleepovers and swimming with more to come I'm sure.

I kinda like Greeley too.  3 city pools.  Sunshine.  And today at the pool the lifeguards were playing all my favorite bands. It was like they stole my playlists. I didn't hear even one T. Swift song all day. I know it's weird that that made me happy, but I'm gonna confess I spent an hour on my phone the other night just looking up Colorado concert venues and who would be playing here over the next couple months even though I won't be able to go to them.  I'm weird like that.

Coming home at the end of the month is going to be a little sad.

I think a vacation was way to long overdue for me.  My health desperately needed a vacation years ago.  I've slept far more than I normally do.  My body has been playing catch up.  My mind has been in kind of a shut down avoidance place.  I've been avoiding certain things that I know cause stress because I just can't deal with it anymore.  While I know that's not healthy long term, it's been really nice for me in this time of rest. 

I love it here and it's like God is breathing life into me to prepare me for the battle that is coming.  God will win this fight and we will be safe.  It's just a matter of time.