Someone had commented on a pretty mundane post of mine on Facebook (me asking for ideas about things to do in Yakima) with a stupidly hateful message that compared me with Hitler and Stalin.
If it wasn't so hateful and hadn't encouraged me to shoot myself I might have laughed.
But it was horrible, like a truly horrible and despicable thing to say. Plus the utter stupidity of what he claimed was, well, crazy. Anyone with half a brain would know that.
I blocked, reported and then questioned a few mutual friends about the mans sanity.
Deep breaths. He's just a guy with no discernment or filter.
So I calmed myself. Got a workout in. Had coffee with a friend and our kids and a then later took the time to read through the dozens of messages I had received from friends regarding what had happened.
I am loved. Completely and truly loved by some amazing people. This isn't the first time nor will it be the last that I've been harassed and bullied because I stood up for justice and truth. But everytime something like this happens the outpouring of love, prayers and kindness completely overwhelms whatever negativity happened.
Everyone that matters to me knows the truth.
I guess in a way I signed up for this. I knew bullying was inevitable when I chose to believe the hard truths.
Here's the thing: yes I am angry and a little scared over the whole incident. Having some crazy cyber bully tell you to shoot yourself isn't fun. But I'm also sad for the guy. To have that much hate in ones heart towards a woman, especially a woman that he has never met in real life? I can't even imagine how awful it must feel.
I guess my heart for this person would be that he gets to experience Gods love for him in his lifetime and that the hate in his heart is replaced with an understanding of Christs love. God loves even the cruelest of bullies. I don't claim to understand how He does it, but He does.
Also, in a weird way, I'm grateful for these experiences. As weird as it sounds, I never experienced bullying from a peer as a child. Sibling fights, sure, but I don't remember ever being really picked on by any of my friends. I was pretty lucky I guess. When I first had my kids I actually thought about what I would say to them and how I would teach them about the subject. I didn't have a good answer, just a lot of generic feel good thoughts. Well, now I have real life experiences and I think I am better prepared to help them. I'm grateful for this. I'm learning how stupid it is to lash out in anger.
So....to my internet and real life bullies: I do forgive you....and in the moments where forgiving is hard? I pray. I pray that you come to know Gods love in a real way. And I pray Gods blessings on you and your families. I don't mean this in a cheesy passive-aggressive "I'll pray for ya'll" way. I mean this genuinely. I pray that you truly come to know God and His amazing love for you. I pray because if I don't? Unforgiveness and bitterness will happen. I've been there before and getting out of that place is hard!
But also? Please stay away from my kids until Gods love finds you, I am a mama-bear when it comes to protecting my littles and you should be thankful it was only me you attacked.
